Today, my amazing daughter Mariah turns 21. And 21 years ago today, I had my first “VBAC” — Vaginal Birth After C-section.

I always wanted to give birth naturally. As a former ballerina I knew the incredible things my body was able to do. I was not afraid -- but the medical system in which I was giving birth was — afraid of women’s power. Afraid of he power I experienced when I pushed my baby girl out — against labor pains, against a system that benefits from taking power away from us.

They fear that we will remember our power; they fear we will remember how to give birth. They fear we will reclaim birth.

So what does the medical establishment tell us? Giving birth is dangerous — not straightforward. They blame our bodies, our age, our ethnicity; they even blame our babies.

“You are too thin — too small” … “Your pelvis is straight;.” … “You are overweight.” … “You are carrying too low” …. ‘You have too much water” … “Your cervix is not helping” … “Your vagina will explode.”

“You are too young/too old” … '“In your country women are not good at giving birth” … “White women are less resistant to pain” …. “Your baby is too big” … “Your baby is in a bad position” … “Your baby is not happy in the uterus” … “Your baby will rip you” … “Your baby is not cooperating.“

And then, we women prove them wrong.

Yes, VBAC is safe. Yes, our bodies work. Yes, we are that strong. Making women afraid of giving birth with information that is not based on evidence is a crime.

Obstetric violence happens and starts by making women afraid of their own bodies. I went against a system that told me several times a VBAC would put my life and my babies’ lives at risk. I found a doctor who told me otherwise.

I read books like Silent Knife. There was no social media, I got involved on a Yahoo Discussion Group about natural birth; I talked to many women who had VBACs. I fought for my rights. I did it.

And today I celebrate the power of having raised a powerful woman with strong values, great ethics, and huge sense of social responsibility. We fought together then; we will continue to fight wherever life takes us.

Birth solidified our ties.

Happy Birthday, Mariah!